Heartfelt4u

I know you know that I am lonely .. perhaps,its the only reason why I love you so much .. why each night I make sure you are in deep slumber before calling it a day .. but then,that is all to it.

.. and last week I lost another one of my dearest friends .. can say,I lost my didi .. one of the sweetest angels this world could ever come across. In a way I was hoping to meet her sometime soon .. but, that is the problem with reality .. We keep planning to live and one fine day, death decides the wait isnt worth it .. You start losing your friends and its intriguing, as if suddenly you begin feeling jittery with every single breath you take .. I owe her my grammar(so,have to be extra careful in writing this one).. She made me understand Wren and Martin .. a very adept book .. I still remember the way she used to bribe me with 'finish this assignment as soon as you can, and I'll allow you to watch the weekly 9 pm series(Alif Laila/Tehkikaat/Naya Nukkad etc.. )' that was in 8th std .. Wow .. its been such a long time .. And I'll always remember the way she would get all mad at me and not talk,whenever I would grow my hair long. That trenchant style .. those discrete words, 'Aye, tu kya apne aap ko hrithik roshan samajhta hain ?'(even though hrithik never boasted of his love for long hair) .. those words still ring in my ears .. put a smile on my face .. still !!

Nowadays, quiet often I find myself wandering in that distant and abstract space they call Conscience .. questioning myself about an aspect that by default didnt need any reasoning .. Days fly by as I watch this world commit the same fatheaded mistakes which I mastered at some point in my pointless life or am still subduing.. I have tried unsuccessfully to shield myself from any sorts of comparisons or expectations .. Maybe the only flaw is,we tend to look at things in terms of compedition or personal gain/loss .. Maybe the only point that matters is,how well you handle the serious issue of living a life when you actually know what 'Living' implies.

In a way, this being busy with job is a great thing .. It helps you not think about your life .. many uncomfortable questions can be avoided .. but they will catch up with you, sooner than later .. and when they do, its so unlike that carefree person you were .. you feel like a jackass of the highest order .. and trust me the only time you could have done something to avoid this precarious situation was when you decided to become one ..

Ultimately, you get some time to think about your transient life and to question its waywardness .. that is when you figure out, the mind had been tossed like a football in the midst of angry,spiked legs ... it feels as if you were slowly being impaled .. by a blunt crave .. straight through .. and its like all the while you watched with utter disregard as it sashayed in but never felt the need to block it .. then suddenly you realize there is nothing you can do about it now... but continue .. watching .. continue .. dying a slow cliched death.

For a self-proclaimed people watcher, I have learnt a lot from these humans .. I have realized,after a certain point in your life, Love is the only 'not a' thing that matters .. that one cares for .. No Ambition, No Imagery can deter you then .. We are ready to put in any sacrifice it commands .. for, thats how difficult it gets to walk alone when we are at the most stable in our lives .. I have witnessed love stories blossom .. I have seen hearts perish .. and the former still gives me a thrill .. trust me,there's no better feeling than loving someone and being loved in return .. Almost every friend of mine finds it hard to beleive I never had a girlfriend .. and it aint such an important virtue afterall .. dont want people to spend their time digging for the most elusive of answers .. The other day one of them came up with an ideal rhetoric .. she concluded .. maybe I am not boyfriend material .. maybe ..

I know you love me despite all my wierd qualities or they might be the ones that help you stick to me .. and I only wish I could give you much more than I already have .. then I think of what more may I ask of you, and realize I still have one 'ask anything you want' wish pending on you ... and like a true idealist I will have my wish one day .. till then I may continue being the jackass you so eternally Love .. yours for the moment being..

A brief, though pre-emptive stoppage -xx-

When we finished graduation,we walked away .. We walked away with a single thought in our mind,one hope etched deep down within,"Unlike those who strolled out before us,We will always stay together".And so,even a year and half later,we met up on odd weekends and went on with what we did the best(pulling each others legs).

When we finished graduation,we were still boys .. Not wanting to grow up,yet,wanting to change the world .At a time when having a job was a far-fetched dream, almost all of us had one.Days of hard-work had finally paid off.. I say days, because when calculated to the utmost precision,that is how long we must have studied. The rest of the time,well..we just squandered it.

The biggest hindrance to staying together is,being busy. Something that we were'nt alien to.Everyone got occupied with their personal and professional lives. But,somehow it was still,fun enough to be in each others company.The more I say it, the more I associate, the more it hurts.The crude realization that the honeymoon trip would end anytime was never pondered over..

That day when we met,we were no longer boys .. although we cried but,if you may,please teach me to cry like a grown up .. because,you bury the cause of pain and .. pain is plain old-fashioned Pain.

They kept telling each other,'If it had been anyone but him, it wouldnt have hurt this much'.I beleive its just a way of consoling yourself..kind of a defence mechanism your heart puts into work to justify the sudden grief.All I know is that,anyone else would have mattered to us in the very same magnitude.

The one thing I hate about 'good byes' is that you can overcome the absenteeism, but you cannot overcome those memories.Atleast that is the toughest thing for me.. We are born,We all die.. What makes it worse isnt the fact that he is no more among us, but the suffering that he might have undergone when the final call came.I have tried questioning myself and all I could conclude is that it wasnt planned ..not by fate..not even by the Gods. I guess they needed a good laugh up there and he was the best clown I had come ever across in my lifetime.

I know I could have written something better for him,something that could have made him smile.For,smile I do whenever I think of him..The other day one of my friends who was unconsolable said to me,'Har cheez mein uska yaad aata hain'.It is perhaps the only way I could have summed it up for those who do not know what exactly have we lost.Now as I sit here staring blankly at this blinking cursor, I have come to realize,at times it does not matter if what you have written is spectacularly exquisite..And.. this is what the past few days have done to me .. you tend to switch off .. Go Numb.

Most of us are still finding it difficult to accept the unfoldings of that day,three weeks back.I hope time makes its presence felt.. that it heals these wounds .. afterall Time is our only keeper .. Time helps .. Time strenghtens .. Time argues .. And at the end of such arguments,We tend to accept life as a series of facts .. Facts that are not supposed to be published nor commercialised but only imbibed from.Facts that bear no choices .. just an insipid continuation .. and then,a momentary Full Stop.

Pardon me if the above few lines seem illogical and unknown to a well laid plan .. Still,when you know you are going to miss someone,itself,is such a virtue that even tears refuse to flow .. that they freeze in there ever-so stubby path.And right now I dont find anything else worthy enough than this silence that surrounds me .. this silence that has been left around .. by him ... this huge Void created.

I dont know what it is that I feel so ashamed of .. Is it the sense of helplessness that wont let me release the pain? Or is it that,the once sensitive US turn as emotionless as a stone underneath a riverbed .. the one enveloped by water with no other choice but to roll-over,pushed whichever way?.. I guess I'll never know.

All I know is that,He was my partner when it came to singing stale rotten songs .. Songs that had it in them to screw even the most patient of minds. He was my partner when it came to irritating others .. When it was non-sensibly funny to make a fool outta your Own self .. And if there was one person in the world who could have sang one of those shamelessly loud songs at My funeral,I know for sure,it would have been him .. And take my word for it,I wouldnt have been lying down silently either .. For,that is what Mukul Puranik was/is/always will remain for me.

In closing,I'd mention just the two words through which we made him famous .. Something we shouted on the top of our voices and with great sense of pride in our friendship .. Something we cheered him with .. and even though the words wouldnt seem meaningful to you in the current context;that only describes how much of an angel he was. Those two words are 'Mooookooool Suckkkxxxx'.

Will miss you forever dedh-phutya ...

P.S. : The first thing am going to do after I die ,is, find you and beat you up for running off in such a hurry...

For as long as I could remember ..I have always been talking to myself.

--> But for the theory of rotation..it could have been proved that actually,the sun oscillates from east to west during the day and back again to east while the whole world is busy sleeping.This intellectual freak had gone to such an extent to prove his point that he stayed up an entire night so that he could catch the Sun red-handed trying to fool us.Sadly though it was a sunday night and the test report was signed off stating that 'Sun was on a Weekly off'.

--> Ever wondered how come the hands of those big railway clocks move??
Answer: There is a man/woman(for those who feel strongly about women’s reservation for this job too) sitting inside and moving those hands every five minutes,thus showing us the visual spectacle of a minutes hand actually moving.I believe its a human sitting inside,you can think of any other animal who might be dumb enough to do such a job.

--> I always believed,people sitting on the upper floor of a double-decker bus never ever got down ... for me they were an upgraded version of those sadhus who used to give up everything and go to the himalayas. i believed the newer species was too lazy to travel so far,so they made up for it by travelling in the same city all through their lives.

--> Elephants cant jump off the ground..true..and dogs should give them company in this matter ..I mean,its fine with all the love that they show us,but every single time one of them climbs on me,i am more worried about my manhood being snatched off a few essential ingredients rather than their effervescent excitement.

--> Men !! Stop staring at my girlfriend as if you have found the lost city of ATLANTIS. I know she is beautiful and i'll stare(i mean look at her)enough to make up for ur stares.

--> When you die,do you get an added discount for spending more than half of your lifetime Travelling?? Because incase if you do,then i guess the heavy population influx to mumbai is very well justified.

--> Just because my body has developed the abiltiy to produce sperms which in turn are capable of fertilising a few eggs..does that give me the right to have children??(dedicated to the average indian couple who'd rather have an extra CHILD than use a condom)

--> Its always tough being an idealist ..you never know when you might breakdown ..and when you do which ultimately happens sooner than later you leave behind a herd of aimless people ..people lost in their minds and broken in their hearts ..people identical to a nuclear warhead that finds its way into the arms of those who can seldom be trusted with a matchstick.

--> Why is it that at times I end up staring at something whilst being lost somewhere else and the lady in front of me thinks I am a sex-starved maniac because technically speaking I had been staring at her daughter's breasts for the past five minutes ..I just hope this explains MEN staring at my girlfriend.

--> Its wierd how in today’s world we have enough sunshine in our pockets to build a few palaces in the name of GOD ..to celebrate his birth ..to enjoy his festivals ..but our bank accounts run dry when it comes to helping out the poor and the needy ..its really wierd.

--> Another genius solution was when I thought-over on what(and not who) exactly is responsible to a women’s pregnancy ..I mean everything is fine but how come suddenly after marriage their stomachs start expanding as if they have gulped down a cow .. interesting question,ehh !!!
So at the age of ten,my only logical answer to this seriously intimate question was that girls are supposed to give birth to FOUR children in their lifetime(four because I hadnt met a family with more than four kids till then) and as soon as they get married which by the way happens at a fixed age of 25(nilya's constant) they start yielding those noisy rattlers(i was a heartless knucklehead back then) ..and here’s the icing on cake ..a women’s age is dependent on the number of kids she has.
Now who could have thought of the ladka n ladki meeting up in a secluded spot one rainy night,all soaked up and then lightning striking so hard that it made the ladki pregnant?? ..Actually for the major part of my thinking days i believed the sole purpose of lightning was to help girls get pregnant ..Ofcourse i owe this thought to the bollywood movies.
The porn industry would have definitely sued me,afterall where did SEX fit-in??

[I feel so miserable rite now ..am jumping off from the fourth floor of my two storey building ..But then I realize I have been living in a dream.]

--> The sky menstruates once again,this time announcing the arrival of dusk ..it has been a drudging day ..just need to take my company bus back home ..and as always the street below is piled up with honking tin-cans resembling a snake game right out of my cell phone ..although its the bikes that form the worm,for there’s hardly any place for people to stand ..walking, is a far-fetched dream. Somehow I make my way through the traffic. I find her waiting there ..she always beats me to the queue ..even after ten hours of non-stop slogging she looks as fresh as the morning dew ..as energetic as a toddler on its first outing ..and as happy as she always is. Our bus arrives much to the relief of my aching legs ..she takes in the first seat and I occupy the one next to hers ..Out come the ear-phones and off go those eyes ..rest of my journey is spent trying to decipher her expressions ..those priceless random codes. What would she be thinking of ..Wat would she be listening to ..seems like she enjoys the bus travel,for,there’s an odd giggle, a lip-sync here and there ..and if i am lucky enough i get to witness one of the most beautiful sights GOD could have ever created ..afterall how often does a girl smile at herself nowadays. The radio guy has just started playing Jag jaa from the movie Omkara and ironically it springs up ..no matter how much her face tries to defy the fatigue,it cannot deny that the day has taken a toll on her body and she lets out that cute yawn ..outside,the traffic’s getting thicker by the minute ..I guess its time for her to sleep ..would love to watch her be at peace with herself ..sadly,this is where i get down ..the shows over folks ..Dont feel like leaving but i have to subdue myself on a long lonely walk back home ..I see her asleep ..her head resting on the window bar while the journey continues for me and for her. Still I cannot help but gaze at her ..cannot help but make a fool out of myself because am standing in the middle of the road staring at something not many know exists ..and no matter how hard I try ..I cannot,like the rest of this world ..I cannot help but fall in love......with falling in love!!

It begins all over again..lying on the bed, clinging onto another one of those impossible dreams.. and Bang !! I wake up..to morning..to light..to Life-the end of sanity. The sun rises and so does a never-ending list of things to be done and an even longer list of things that'll actually befall...strangely enough the attributes in the former rarely get any place in the latter...pinch of dejavu,ehh !!

It begins all over again...On the way back home from office..i try to reach up to the sky..try to pluck out another one of those sweet little cherries you call Stars..somehow forgetting that they arent meant to be bothered..somehow forgetting that LIFE awaits me down here..somehow forgetting that i am a Human...afterall !!!

I know it would sound cliché but...Life is wierd. I mean..one moment you are a pesky li’l teenager not wanting anything else except for a date with a Laetitia Casta or a Shahrukh Khan...while on other times you are someone who couldn’t finish reading for your weekly science quiz although your bookshelf boasts of treasuries ranging from Harry Potter to the Da Vinci Code to the eternal Godfather. You fall in and out of LOVE and the changeover is as smooth as a Ferrari pit-stop during a formula 1 race. You have nothing to be worried of..you have no future to build..although think of it you do..

Then college life ends.. you find urself working your ass off.. you develop the ability to think(atleast that’s what you fake urself with)..you foresee the future(this is for real)... in plain terms..u “grow up”....and mess up life big time. All of a sudden you don’t have time to be a child again...and mind u that child would fetch better results at any given point of time in life than the grown-up could do in years together..

One glitch in our wonderland and we think theres nothing worse that could have happened to us,on the contrary,life for reasons still unknown to the human race is never tired of proving us wrong...we curse almost everything under the sun,including ourselves...yet we continue with our lives.

Everyone's in two minds..not knowing whether to Live life or to leave Life...Scared to be a flagbearer although ever so ready to walk along in a crowd...and in today's pretext,confused whether being a singer will rake in the moolah or becoming an actor would help them etch out crisp gandhijis. So here i am singing an ever-so-forgotten tune of love to those who barely want to hear me..trying to enact to the best of my capabilities a beautiful drama that is Life...so here i am presenting a fake yet picture perfect impression of mine so that you can warn your nestlings about bipeds like me...and here i am trying to be enough of a human so as to be able to break a few hearts when everyone’s done with mine...

PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE!!!

It begins all over again...rolling over and over in the bed...trying dsperately to knock myself off to sleep,not wanting the following day in office seem like a hangover treat..but as always I lose..so I think..i think of all those who must not be thinking of anything right now...i think of students who are burning midnight oil so as to achieve those near-impossible dreams their folks or this world has set-up for them..i think of people like me who suddenly realize all these years of hardwork has fetched them a boss whose demands never seem to cease,resulting into the total annihilation of a once beautiful now pathetic social life...I think of all those in love who somehow never fail to impress me with there determination to stay together..i think of those parents who wouldn’t allow their children to marry outside their cast yet managing to blurt out that God is One..I think of anything and everything that my mind gives me a levy to think of..and all I conclude is that its about time we realized there's more to life than Our life itself.. leave alone hardwork..leave alone religion..leave alone love.

You have no idea what am talking about am sure...never mind..i have always been that way...thinking too hard..trying to break a peanut with a sledge-hammer..Trying to command a life which was never mine..

There are times when I feel unwanted..unasked for..And then there are times when i beleive whatever I have acheived no matter how minuscule,still,it must be contributing to the process of life on earth in someway or the other...So i decide to rest..to relax for a while..to gather myself for the following day..Somehow wanting it all to end..the anxiety..the misery..the pain..the hope..the life..But then I wake-up..and it begins all over again ! ! !

How often has it happened to you....walking down a road,ending up nowhere.Abiding at that same’ol crossroads wondering which way did life go.Just one snap of the fingers and its all back to square one..how often ??????
Am unsure of what I want to say..of,what I want you to understand.Is it fair on my part to curse the very existence of life when most of us(and yes that US definitely includes me)have been pampered lifelong?????

How many times have you like every other lost soul on this superlative asteroid called Earth,tortured your brains over some confounded issue,speculative of the difference between the don’t’s and the not’s...how many times???
One tini-tiny sorrow and everything good goes out of the window...isnt it??

And sooo it is,that I always end up feeling vulnerable and abject even though that feeling of she never coming back has long by sunken in.
I wonder where all this talk is headed...whether you should continue withering away your precious little Life over such a trumpery...whether its all WORTH it.

Each day I see life,standing with her arms open wide for me...like a charlatan..or is it like an angel ???? I am still confused.
What have I made of myself here!! Life since she left has been a puzzle,each time I solve gets RE-arrranged to get even tougher.

Sore isn’t it,the heartache,the misery..and still with our hands held high in supplication we cry out for some more.We believe,ours has been a lifelong inferno,so much so that we find ourselves worthy of tutoring others on what NOT to do..on how to live life..on how to LOVE.We ideate that there is nothing else to life than Love...and for once I must say..We are right.Truly there isnt anything else that’d even come closer to taking its sheen away.

I saw her the other day.She looked so beautiful,so happy...with him. It kills to know that the one you care for more than anything else in this world doesn’t even know "you exist"....and exist in much a hapless state you do.
Believe me,this is the beauty of it all.We asked for it and as always God plainly granted us our wishes.
Tell me how long do I hold on to her???Tell me how long would it be before I transform into a human Again ??

You know what;no matter how folderol somethings appear to be,still,this heart forces us to try it out for the umpteenth time..'every' 'single' 'time'.It illudes us into believing what it feels is right,belittling the very existence of common sense.

And so every single day since I last met her,I wait.
At that same crossroads where I had long gone seen her,I wait.
It'd be awfully late today incase she happens to show up,but she hasnt and so,I wait.
Tired by a hard days work,half awake,half asleep,I wait.
Discarding every single gumption my Einstein-like brain pops out for me,I wait.
And as always,it never cares to cease....The wait.
Yet,determined to slug it out the following day...I leave.
Afterall i have no answer to my intransigent aimless faith,and so I WAIT.
But the morning never comes...the first ray...first sign of my DAY.
Although sleep I will...long before my heart does.
Good Night Sweetheart.

I am going HOME...finally!!!

Dreaming about the time when i would be standing at my doorsteps all strapped up…..watching my mom grin knowing that i wont be going away again...i was cognizant with the irony of that situation. Its time to leave something that has been with me for the past 4-5 yrs - the college campus....the night-outs..my roommates....those open roads...pleasant trees..temple bell....

I donno why?? but everything here seems untuned today.Has someone told them that this is my last day here....that today is all they have to be with me.....or is it the other way around??? I clomped down the roads wishing that life always remained slack....trying to play down the inevitable,that one day even i am gonna be the same'ol dreg that cuts across this piece of land.

Its quiet and cool in my room.I stand by the window staring into the infinite sky above....myriad of thoughts flurrying through my head.Like a chorus of the damned they plead for salvation.......

i think of the Life ahead.

They say it is a Turquoise sky in the making, a SKY so comely beautiful that it cant be real….Like contentment achieved only at the end of a long jading day. Guess its time for us mortals to TRY and attain immortality.

Amongst us are the future CEOs,inventors,investors…moms….dads. So what exactly can get us to that pinnacle? err!!! wrong question. What do I mean by the term 'pinnacle' in this context? ahh!! thats the right one.

My friends say they are finally absolved....free to do what they want to....to actually live life on their own terms. When we talk about freedom of thought, in the philosophical sense,I am definitely cynical because every single one of us acts under peripheral obligations and upto a certain extent an inner need. Free Will as usual plays its part. It is upon us to control and maintain the sanctity of life.

The future is as unknown as Life on earth tomorrow. The present is an illusion slipping through our fingers like dry sand in an ever so tight Fist. Only the past stays, a past which will help us build our future…Build and not Built. The difference between success and greatness lies in how well we understand this past(ours as well as the world’s).

Stories of the lives of our friends sunken in past grandeur confound us. Gone are the days when we could have been complacent. Expectations have risen. We all fear failures. There is nothing that’s gonna happen to us that hasn’t happened to someone else except for our way of handling it. When we speak of Life, all that is expected from us is to lead a simple one, it is as easy and as difficult as that. This world will teach us what we ought to learn in the long run and as always it is upto us to be a good student or a spoilt brat.

Really, no matter what the odds be we have a duty towards life, towards our loved ones. And never mind the millions who make it easy by taking the unrighteous paths, we will live here and we will succeed because then that’s what makes it OUR life.

So,there i was,sitting on the pews of the church of my alma mater.Trying to urge those stupid,cherubic memories to come to life in a sequential manner;trying to avoid a possible bottleneck in this already messed up head of mine.There are so many times when you feel like going back and living life all over again.For me,this is the ONLY moment.

My school.How do I forget that Titanic building,still standing tall,looking all the more resplendent!! Those were the times....Still remember each and every bit of that heavenly Life,still cherish those moments.And my apologies if I evoke some memories!!!! So,this is me,projecting a hologram of all the things that went through my head...

To begin with,I remember those pushpak lectures of Mr. Vincent Lolo(P.S. :May his soul rest in peace)who had a problem with his throat,resulting to which he never uttered a word.Instead he would write whatever he had to say. Then there were those enchanting,scary yet hilarious periods of Mathew Sir...the senseless acts which John sir performed....the nickname specialist Salvi teacher(who btw called me Devegowda,am still wondering "why?")...How can i forget the scariest of the lott,the one person whom we could call "Hitler Of Fatima",Mrs Norma...the torturous and childish(yes,in 7th std we children felt they were childish)routines of Father Pakya(err...Prakash)..how do i forget those brainstorming sessions with Mrs Ciciliy,the only teacher i had a good impression on(thats surprising,isnt it?).........i remember Rita teacher,who for some wierd reason had sort of a "Fast,Faster,Fastest" motto..i mean everytime she opened her mouth,the words would come out at break-neck speed.....And i'll always remember Mrs. Bridget,who is one of the two women(the other being mommy dearest)calling me handsome...Finally those periods of Bergis sir,who wouldnt miss a single chance to have a go at Mathew sir(the match reminded me somewhat of a wrestling match between The Undertaker(Mathew sir) & Funaki(Mr. Bergis))

How do i forget those Open Sessions,which had a dubious record of making atleast one female member of the ruling party mewl(and we loved every single bit of it....sorry girls).I can never forget those long,gruelling and intense sessions of penfights with my partners(Kishore Shetty in 8th,Pratik Sanghrajka & Manish Bhagtani in 9th,Sanjay Badani in 10th)God Bless them all for losing to me

Those cricket matches we played during scouts period.Most of us remember one such time when Aashish Shetty(we call him "daadhi",credit this to his beard)had single handedly won us the match....we celebrated as if the World Cup was ours.But the one match i'll never forget is the one when we played RUGBY,even though it was raining mercilessly..that was the time when Saleel "goliath" Pai (the real name is Saleel and not Sandy)had ripped off the shirt pocket of a particular Abhishek "midget" Raghunath,ma'an the look on abhishek's face was that of "such a helpless guy".

I was there when a shahrukh-like Amit Bamb(Vice President) had pulled a rabbit out of the hat...err actually it was a pornbook from some guy's lunch bag.And i was definitely there(although i would have given anything to be absent)when Mathew Sir had knocked the living daylight out of me,for reasons known only to him.

I am beginning to wonder,what caused me to open-up this pandora's box????? Oh yes! that visit to my school on Children's Day.I miss those senseless,stupid days...so much!!!And i know am gonna miss them forever.

In closing, a few of my friends made me realize something that a guy like me never wants to accept...the fact that eventually,people GROW-UP....every single one of them...am damn sure a few did... As for me,Well!!!lets just say:

am still waiting.....

Joy and Magic even when doing nothing.Just being next to each other,happy that in this vast world GOD and his Angel of Love did the miracle of making you two meet and become one.Who is this,your twin soul?Who,do you know for sure loves you like no one else?When your life is at its lowest who makes things better by just being present?

However sure you are,still ask God.If yours is a praying heart,then the one your heart wants is the one God wants you to have,so,who is this One?Who is His and Your Will?And never mind what else,who do you just simply love the most in the world?SOULS know only pure love,so in this very INCORRUPT state which soul do you love???While reading this,whose name came to your mind?If there is one answer to all these questions,then beleive me YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER.

This is a question asked by some one much senior ....any takers????
" Like you, i liked Hazaaron Khwaishein aisi so much....But i am curious to know about something..i guess you must be much younger than me...i was a school going boy during emergency and i can obviously associate myself with the film esepcially since i was also brought up in the surrounding which was politically charged with left ideology. But how does the younger generation of today associate itself with the film? why the film has clicked so well with this generation in their twenties?"

A POSSIBLE REPLY:

It is more than relating......
Actually,this movie is a question raised by Sudhir Mishra.In this world wherein everything is fast-paced,every decision taken has to be a quick one,its here that sudhir tries to test our patience for justice.
The solution to the naxal problems isnt a simple one and Kay Kay by wasting his life(coz thats what he feels in the end) proved it to us.The reality prevails-We as youngsters(and for that matter every1 else) are quiet impatient when it comes to acheiving anything in life;eventhough someone has rightly said,Patience is the virtue.It is this longanimity that made Chitrangada love Kay Kay more than her own life.It is this patience that kept Shiney coming back again and again and again for a Chitrangada(who dint love him except for,as a friend),even though he could have had anyother girl.
The main reason why this flick clicked isnt because it portrayed the naxalite problems,but because it was the youths who took up the initiative to solve it,although it wasnt expected from them.It is this determination that everyone would prefer relating to more than anything else...
Hazaaron Khwaahishein Aisi as the name suggests doesnt tell you that the dreams have been fulfilled.No,it sort of badgers you that these are the ambitions,and if you have it in you,try fulfilling Atleast one.
This movie teases you to try and change the environment you live in.No,not the "Rang de basanti" style.This one has a bigger goal.Now,am not taking anything away from RDB,but given a choice i would say RDB was more commercially bound,and had a short term effect(again,short term not short scale).
Well this leads us to another tough question,difference between both of them:
I would define Rang de basanti as "Dying For a Cause".But there is something far more difficult than that.Its STAYING ALIVE AND SEEING TO IT THAT YOUR CAUSE IS MET...I said "staying" alive.In the process of staying alive,some breakdown(kaykay),some loose there Love yet regain there Life(chitrangada),while some are Blessed with Love(shiney).Sudhir Mishra in Hazaaron Khwaahishein Aisi has tried to warn us that life isnt a bed of roses.He has shown us,that the path to justice isnt a short and a sweet one;but it is lined with sacrifices,with tortures which have managed to conk out even the best.And if we choose to lead such a path,then we better be ready for anything and everything.....

For all those unfortunate ones who havent seen this masterpiece yet...a humble request....go watch it..

Just a preview...This by far is the best dialogue i've ever heard...Kaykay is addressing his group:

"To all you fans of Jimmy Hendricks & Bob Dylan,who fought against injustice in their own country,we want you to think,question,dont just listen not even to us."..."But what would Daddy say"."Tell Daddy life is not just fun,there is a famine in Bihar,people are dying in the countryside,and tell Daddy that he is responsible for it.For he is the Collaborator in a state which is a state of Big Landlords and Bourgeois Capitalist,and tell Daddy life is not just about getting a fat Salary and loving one's parenst,there are countries in this world in which people have established a new order,China,Vietnam,Telengana."

It has been a long time since I created on paper what my mind pictured.Sometimes we deliberately dismiss things, glaring at us, screaming for our attention. We ignore them with a futile hope that miraculously they will, somehow, ameliorate all by themselves. But that’s called foolishness. May I suggest a better word for it? Dear, it’s called love. Now, there are many, many who would disagree with me. Doesn’t every coin have two sides? Been in love once and finding really difficult to get out of it, I fail to understand it? What the hell is it? Chemistry? Biology? Or a combination of both? I, for that matter, fail to understand life, too. Or is it the other way round? Does life fail to understand me? Life, you see, finds a way to life. No matter what might be the odds against it, it somehow gathers itself and goes on. As they say just as happy days don’t last for long, so wont the sad ones.
Sometimes I wonder what might have happened if our dreams ever come true? Do we really want what we think we want? Desires have presented, each heart, its share of pains. Can we make our lives go in a direction we wanna? As Aristotle once said- not with things as they are, but with things as they might be and ought to be. We make and mar our lives, ourselves. No god, no destiny, but US. We hold the hand of life and lead it to a path. Time, as the saying goes, is the best healer. But what is the matter with time? Do we stand at a place and watch time fleet by or is it time, which gazes at us, little bemused, as we carry on with our humble selves. What would it be like to question time? What do u feel about me? When things started to go wrong? What could have been done? What I didn’t do? Right and wrong, aren’t those things relative?? Questions, questions, and even more questions. Do we ever write exactly as we feel? Do we ever feel what we write? I, pass each day, waiting to be enlightened. Someday, I’ll show life what it is like to live.